I'm combining Andrew's view with my own so we get a 2-way look at living with autism, an insight from the person with the diagnosis and also from close family (ie mum).
Today I am expecting a visit from a homeopathist who is trained in cease therapy.
I've recently read Dr Tinus Smits book "AUTISM Beyond Despair"
I should start by saying that I am not a naïve person and always look at everything with an enquiring and open mind.
Having read this man's book I felt its content resonated with me on many levels, that said, Ive now contacted a cease therapist in my area and expect her visit this afternoon firstly to look at my younger son and then if I see benefits then I would most certainly ask Andrew if he wished treatment.
I will update on developments but I am mildly excited at the moment. Watch this space. Elaine
Friday 2 August 2013
Thursday 25 July 2013
ANDREW'S BLOG VIA F/C
I am a man now of 23years of age.
I believe I am introducing myself to a more open audience who have not known me personally.
I am mentally as able as the next person.
I don't expect everyone to believe that I am everything I am.
I'm considered Autistic.
What does this mean??
I'm challenged daily by things you all don't even consider a challenge.
I've got time on my hands regularly and I cant concentrate on any one thing for any length of time.
I keep asking myself what's this all about?
I notice now I'm less judgemental of others and less likely to "kick-off" if I feel offended against, maybe I'm maturing.
I've been a challenge for those taking care of me.
I'm not "open" to anyone except those who are really involved with "knowing" who they themselves are as human beings.
There are those around me who are "useful" and take care of me regularly.
I liken it to having a "minder" who simply keeps me in some kind of order.
I do enjoy some who are around me; the ones who aren't taking control and trying to undermine me.
I'm constantly asked what would I like to do today?
I simply don't answer.
I'm mostly mute but have some involuntary language which is inconsistent usually with what I'm trying to convey.
Maybe this method of "blogging" actually might give me some delivery of my own self??
I'm actually most compliant now compared to earlier years.
Maybe I now begin to educate myself as someone capable of moving into a more independent lifestyle??
I don't know!!
What would I like to deliver to anyone out there in cyber space?
Maybe go back to the beginning?
Memories are of being born into a world where I was made aware of how much I couldn't connect to anything or anyone around me.
I don't know exactly what age I was aware of this, probably when I noticed my older sister could make herself get attention yet I couldn't. I saw how she did it but could not master it myself.
The struggle began probably as soon as I was born as I knew I was fearful almost from the word go.
My baby memories are now fading but I have known many times I knew I didn't connect emotionally to those caring for me, I just knew I needed them but not emotionally.
Fear existed in my life almost immediately as I reacted to any noise, movement, touch and was always sad to feel nothing seemed to correct my situation.
I knew everyone else was aware I wasn't doing what was expected of me. They always tried to get help for me; asking of many how could they help me.
Unnecessary interventions came and went. Hospitals are never "healing" places in my experience.
They took me to a place and held me down and placed electrodes on my head to give a reading of my brain electrical activity.
I found it absolutely hellish!
No-one seemed to be responding to my own overt fear of these awful situations.
I know now they only were trying to help find causes of me being the way I am.
Powerful energy comes from difficult almost unresponsive situations such as mine.
I would often place myself in a cocoon to safeguard my own self and allowing some time of stillness to calm and heal me.
Much of the time even though I was physically present my mind would be elsewhere as I would educate myself beyond the awfulness of feeling so isolated and alone.
This energy I speak of is in all living beings and I have personally used it to get on in a life which isn't everything I personally want it to be.
I've attached reasons to being the way I am.
I don't expect others to agree or disagree, this is my opportunity to express without involvement or intervention by anyone else.
I regret nothing in my life as regret is not a useful thing. What is useful is that I quantify what's occurring, make it everything I can make it and then choose to leave it and move on to something else I can give my best efforts to.
Regret is useless!
I am independent in my mind though not in my movement. I only ask those who are significant to me to be involved in my life. I will "not" engage in any way with anyone who doesn't see in me that I am a human being capable of everything they are capable of given the right tools.
I don't consider myself an easily liked individual so if I have already offended anyone reading this who expected me to be a sweet soft and cuddly guy then I am not about to apologise. I am without doubt incredibly feisty, very aware and highly intelligent. I'm not in ego saying this, it comes
from being truthful.
This story is not a "woe is me" effort, I'm letting you know of a struggle not only with autism but with having intelligence which is not at this time being developed to its utmost due to restrictions of not being completely able to evidence it because Im not yet able to type on my own.
Do I want others to like me?
I'm not actually worried if you do or not I'm just seeking an outlet to express my inner self and always will remain true to my own self.
I'm not an organised person so there's no set format as to how I'm going to write anything. I'm happy simply to be doing it.
Can I answer significant questions?
Yes, only if you appreciate the answer may not be to your liking especially if I have strong feelings on any matter, I literally don't hold back with my response.
I've chosen to use facilitated communication s a tool because its the only system which honours my thoughts appealingly. My body doesn't quite match up to my mind, it doesn't do what I want it to do and God do I realise it doesn't.
Im so incompetent in doing anything freely on my own.
We've had all the input from the psychologists and so-called professionals, they will only take me seriously when Im doing this entirely on my own. "Evidence" always required, faith and trust never enough in this world.
My answer to this is I SIMPLY CANT., not yet at least. I cant express exactly why? I simply know my limitations cancel out any useful communication I could make if I didn't have some support to do this. Outwardly my body looks normal but inside a conflict occurs. I almost give up immediately or sabotage my efforts if someone is watching me communicating in this way. Anxiety is overwhelming and cripples any effort I make. My thoughts almost deny any useful physical effort to be independent in my writing.
Doubt very much if you "get me" !
Maybe some do!
I feel its enough to leave my thoughts here for the moment. I'd like to tell more about my interests in space travel, also that I enjoy using healing sending out positive thoughts to situations. Maybe I'm not such an unlikeable guy after all? If I were then I wouldn't be capable of thinking of healing this earth and its inhabitants. Blindness is a concern at this time as many are so needing to see whats happening in this world. We call ourselves caring but responsibility comes when we all care enough to stop this planet being destroyed by our own selfishness.
I will keep this up and talk some more next time
ALWAYS ANDREW.
I believe I am introducing myself to a more open audience who have not known me personally.
I am mentally as able as the next person.
I don't expect everyone to believe that I am everything I am.
I'm considered Autistic.
What does this mean??
I'm challenged daily by things you all don't even consider a challenge.
I've got time on my hands regularly and I cant concentrate on any one thing for any length of time.
I keep asking myself what's this all about?
I notice now I'm less judgemental of others and less likely to "kick-off" if I feel offended against, maybe I'm maturing.
I've been a challenge for those taking care of me.
I'm not "open" to anyone except those who are really involved with "knowing" who they themselves are as human beings.
There are those around me who are "useful" and take care of me regularly.
I liken it to having a "minder" who simply keeps me in some kind of order.
I do enjoy some who are around me; the ones who aren't taking control and trying to undermine me.
I'm constantly asked what would I like to do today?
I simply don't answer.
I'm mostly mute but have some involuntary language which is inconsistent usually with what I'm trying to convey.
Maybe this method of "blogging" actually might give me some delivery of my own self??
I'm actually most compliant now compared to earlier years.
Maybe I now begin to educate myself as someone capable of moving into a more independent lifestyle??
I don't know!!
What would I like to deliver to anyone out there in cyber space?
Maybe go back to the beginning?
Memories are of being born into a world where I was made aware of how much I couldn't connect to anything or anyone around me.
I don't know exactly what age I was aware of this, probably when I noticed my older sister could make herself get attention yet I couldn't. I saw how she did it but could not master it myself.
The struggle began probably as soon as I was born as I knew I was fearful almost from the word go.
My baby memories are now fading but I have known many times I knew I didn't connect emotionally to those caring for me, I just knew I needed them but not emotionally.
Fear existed in my life almost immediately as I reacted to any noise, movement, touch and was always sad to feel nothing seemed to correct my situation.
I knew everyone else was aware I wasn't doing what was expected of me. They always tried to get help for me; asking of many how could they help me.
Unnecessary interventions came and went. Hospitals are never "healing" places in my experience.
They took me to a place and held me down and placed electrodes on my head to give a reading of my brain electrical activity.
I found it absolutely hellish!
No-one seemed to be responding to my own overt fear of these awful situations.
I know now they only were trying to help find causes of me being the way I am.
Powerful energy comes from difficult almost unresponsive situations such as mine.
I would often place myself in a cocoon to safeguard my own self and allowing some time of stillness to calm and heal me.
Much of the time even though I was physically present my mind would be elsewhere as I would educate myself beyond the awfulness of feeling so isolated and alone.
This energy I speak of is in all living beings and I have personally used it to get on in a life which isn't everything I personally want it to be.
I've attached reasons to being the way I am.
I don't expect others to agree or disagree, this is my opportunity to express without involvement or intervention by anyone else.
I regret nothing in my life as regret is not a useful thing. What is useful is that I quantify what's occurring, make it everything I can make it and then choose to leave it and move on to something else I can give my best efforts to.
Regret is useless!
I am independent in my mind though not in my movement. I only ask those who are significant to me to be involved in my life. I will "not" engage in any way with anyone who doesn't see in me that I am a human being capable of everything they are capable of given the right tools.
I don't consider myself an easily liked individual so if I have already offended anyone reading this who expected me to be a sweet soft and cuddly guy then I am not about to apologise. I am without doubt incredibly feisty, very aware and highly intelligent. I'm not in ego saying this, it comes
from being truthful.
This story is not a "woe is me" effort, I'm letting you know of a struggle not only with autism but with having intelligence which is not at this time being developed to its utmost due to restrictions of not being completely able to evidence it because Im not yet able to type on my own.
Do I want others to like me?
I'm not actually worried if you do or not I'm just seeking an outlet to express my inner self and always will remain true to my own self.
I'm not an organised person so there's no set format as to how I'm going to write anything. I'm happy simply to be doing it.
Can I answer significant questions?
Yes, only if you appreciate the answer may not be to your liking especially if I have strong feelings on any matter, I literally don't hold back with my response.
I've chosen to use facilitated communication s a tool because its the only system which honours my thoughts appealingly. My body doesn't quite match up to my mind, it doesn't do what I want it to do and God do I realise it doesn't.
Im so incompetent in doing anything freely on my own.
We've had all the input from the psychologists and so-called professionals, they will only take me seriously when Im doing this entirely on my own. "Evidence" always required, faith and trust never enough in this world.
My answer to this is I SIMPLY CANT., not yet at least. I cant express exactly why? I simply know my limitations cancel out any useful communication I could make if I didn't have some support to do this. Outwardly my body looks normal but inside a conflict occurs. I almost give up immediately or sabotage my efforts if someone is watching me communicating in this way. Anxiety is overwhelming and cripples any effort I make. My thoughts almost deny any useful physical effort to be independent in my writing.
Doubt very much if you "get me" !
Maybe some do!
I feel its enough to leave my thoughts here for the moment. I'd like to tell more about my interests in space travel, also that I enjoy using healing sending out positive thoughts to situations. Maybe I'm not such an unlikeable guy after all? If I were then I wouldn't be capable of thinking of healing this earth and its inhabitants. Blindness is a concern at this time as many are so needing to see whats happening in this world. We call ourselves caring but responsibility comes when we all care enough to stop this planet being destroyed by our own selfishness.
I will keep this up and talk some more next time
ALWAYS ANDREW.
Wednesday 24 July 2013
Letting others in
I haven't ever done anything like this before, in fact technology isn't a strong point with me. The reason I'm blogging in this way is mainly as an attempt to reach a wider audience. I want to help my 23 year old autistic son write a book. He doesn't speak but uses facilitated communication whereby I support his arm and he points to letters to make up words on an alphabet board or computer keyboard. I'm hoping that this blog will provide us the opportunity to share Andrew's thoughts in order to reach a wider audience and let Andrew tell his story thus far. Andrew was diagnosed at age 2 with severe autism. The next time I blog the words will be Andrew's own, he would like to be known for who he is, not for who others may think he is. He has a story which he needs to tell and I'm hoping this forum begins a process of change for Andrew personally. We all desire to be accepted and understood, Andrew desires this more than most as for almost all his life others have judged him unfairly. Will continue later with Andrew's input. Elaine
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